“why why why?”

“My love,” he says, “I love you”
tell me tell me… is it my pride, my ego?
CRAZY it’s not love?

 

hd pic search ade # 2 & 3 page
“why why why?”

my soul, in its deep thoughts roams the dark of the night … nothing but dim light of
a twinkling star would show, the silhouette of my consciousness… thinking in silence, leaf by leaf i pinch the crowded space of my mind, the unrequited passion my body desires.

moi, a framed weather-borne image;
in the midst of
roaring circling thunderstorm
surging flood streams, flying debris
a pouring rain in summer time
inside the comfortable womb
of my mother, suddenly…
floating into this bigger dot -the earth
my deafening wahhhhhhhhh… !!!

since then…
i ‘ve never experienced
the tricky games of the dancing world
all things for me are
in its dew drops of spring
in the first warmth of summer
in the initial dropping of autumn leaves
in the first hailstorm of winter
everything… delectably bonbons au chocolat!

5am:
ahhhhhhhhh…
my deep breath
i live i love i die… i’ll claim it… i’ll own it
an imaginative knowledge
in my infant bloom… a golden shine
one minute i am being hammock-swung
next moment i’m being zizoed weary
to a looming cloudy skies.

a super-impose art piece

my reasoning my thinking my attitude towards my multi-dots that would be coming my way… shall play create influence my destiny… a destiny of my own thinking and liking… i shall find it… work for it, attain it, until the wind shall cease coming my way… leaves me breathless, then then, my destiny should have been reached.

to pain to hurt to ache to suffer to sigh… is something my mind says and then i try to justify which i, myself is not sure of… all my movements within the scope of my ‘time and space’ are greatly influenced by a lacerated heart.

i cite a poem by one of my favourite Argentinian poet, José Revello’s “LAS VOCES DEL SILENCIO”, which i perceptively translated into English… [in writing, the last word is the word of the author, the reader then takes over as to how it noema to him: the world, the people, will chain will staple will nail it… pronouncing the meanings]… his poem resonates to my bleeding pain and for some unknown reason, like the voluminous dark clouds that has been covering the blue sky, my lover’s face… his image, his shadow still cloud my mind. [by ade caparas manilah]

“The VOICES OF THE SILENT”
[perceptive English translation by ade caparas manilah 06 may 2017 sydney nsw australia]

i see love i feel love… it writes me memories of twisted vines- vines memories of love… simply i can’t stop to dream… the sky the sea envelope my being;

its hurts its laughters, the harmonies embrace me to an unknown level of bliss… but what i know is, “i love you”…

and though i would float sometimes in despair, into anxious doubts, into sadness, suffered from the absence of your beauty, still i would need you…

you are the breath of my breath, my life in suffice of my life… in a secluded beach… I catch sight of you, who you are… the subtle and beautiful you, who i watch i desire though far away…

the sea breeze bathes me with grief knowing the distance between us. your beautiful face… missing you, longing to touch you, creates me into a shipwrecked of loneliness, where the sorrows dance flee to high heavens…

you are an extension of nature whose images come again and again as the wind come passing by… i look in anticipation to be with you, my burning desire, my warm affection,

O that look in your eyes, i remember, dear… witnessed by the twilight night of songs, as i hug you and kiss you… never never to part again.

“Las Voces Del Silencio” [Spanish original version of José Revello’s prose/poetry]
Amor lo que alrededor mis ojos miran. Amo lo que mis sentidos atrapan. Quiero lo que mis sensaciones traen en buenas nostalgias y recuerdos. Cunas de esta vida que pasa y no deja de ser ensueño. Amo ver el cielo y el mar envolver mi frágil naturaleza y abrase mi cuerpo en fraternal consuelo. A veces son heridas. Otras son risas y armonías. Amo la vida tal cual conozco, aunque su dimensión no comprenda ni siquiera alcance. Aunque sea un átomo entre millones a sola espera su confluir verdadero yo descubra. Yo amo, dudo y a veces sin duda también desespero… más estoy cansado de ver como la perfila desidia intenta apartarme de su belleza. Me apena luchar contra los que pretenden abarcar lo inmenso y vasto pensando ahogarlos pueden en la palma de sus manos. Yo amo mis respirar porque oxigeno necesito para fluir en esta vida única e irrepetible. Yo amo y soy agradecido. Pero, mientras estas cosas reflexiono… me apena descubrirte en esa playa solitaria… yo te conozco. Sé quién eres, mas ahora viéndote sutil y bella… deseable y lejana… la brisa del mar bañaba -quizás- tu pena porque sola estas mujer…pero a lo lejos yo miro: se quién eres, se lo que vales… no mereces esa tristeza que enturbia la sedosidad de tu bello rostro… más creo tampoco lo merezco, mis sentimientos también naufragan en mi propia soledad. Sabes, quizás ser parte de esa extensión de la naturaleza, donde las tristezas danzan huyendo a los cielos… y ahí perderse en quizás otros encuentros… quizás nos identifiquemos de alguna manera. Al menos bajo las horas de este firmamento. No sé qué pensaras. Lo que sé no es válido dejar de ser porque otros gusten gozar de nuestras tristezas. No es digno sufrirlo gratuitamente. Quizás su sentido comprendiendo, me voy acercando buscando acompañarte… si tú quisieras. Tal vez aceptes y me acompañes… el calor del cariño solitario, así sea un poco, conversando, concibamos lo abierto… y -así brevemente- sea algo dentro nuestro. De un frugal cruce de miradas y saludos -de algún lado me recordaste- y las palabras -al principio cerradas- fluyeron liberadoras, unificadoras, porque ambos -en aquel momento- consuelo necesitábamos… y del crepúsculo nació la noche. Y de la noche surgió el amanecer… y de otros amaneceres abrazamos el tiempo que bendecido nuestro amor vio nacer… En dedicatoria a todos aquellos que algo conmovidos lean este fragmento y los lleve a sentir… y a comprender…
Que nunca estarán tan solos… porque -por verdad- la vida es un gran abrazo… suéñala un poco más cada día de tu vida… y sueño será. by: José Revello
hurt.. a surging pain.. a fresh wound_ i ache, i am left out, i am never included… or i am choked, “my love is gone.. i am jilted… and i want to make him feel the guilt or i want him to know… i am in dying pain… ahhhhhhhhhh!

mirror, water refleCtion, photographs
they’ve givEn an image of him
ahhhhhhhhhh… even the moon reflects his eyes
“My love,” he says, “I love you”
tell me tell me… is it my pride, my ego?
CRAZY it’s not love?

_ade caparas manilah

tuesday 6:12pm 12 december 2017

sydney nsw australia

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