“The Phenomenology of the so-called Elements of Time”
“i am trapped, plunged…” Anand says, in one of his poems: “Trapped”
“I looked into the mirror
Me and only me.
Even in the magic mirror
I had set up
in the room above
I allowed no images to emerge
Other than mine own.”
“i am engulf, i succumb…” Roland Barthes declared, on his book, “Lovers Discourse”
“In crisis of engulfment can come from a wound, but also from a fusion: we die together from loving each other: an open death, by dilution into the ether, a closed death of the shared grave.”
“i trap, i engulf… “ i , ade caparas manilah, say, my third book “Wanting To”
While both famous poets writers philosophers: Roland Barthes and Dr Jernail S Aanand, are talking of what has gone, i, ade caparas manilah, speak of wanting to… all the three of us are talking about ourselves, the emotions, a self assessment of our being __while i can’t elaborate on their personal enslavements; their personal subjugation… i open mine:
i remember as a five-year old girl
our house fronts a rice field
though i am belted
trying to catch a dragon fly
still, i go do it.
its multi-coloured body
luminous but transparent wings
tickles my curiosity
i imagine me
flying like a dragon fly.
At times on some occasions, when it rains, that pouring rains with the roaring thunders and
electrifying lightnings, i ran to that same rice field, getting soaked, then i speak to the rains, thunders, lightnings, “i am not frightened, i command you, STOP!”
All, all these silliness, Barthes, Aanand, Mine… are the gone moments, it can never come back into being again, but its like a ghost that haunts, yet, in its own way, renders joy to remember during the instant now __somehow those gone moments influence the wanting to, and as one gets older… silly gone moments become the character trait of a now person:
Roland Barthes extreme love, glues him to his beloved whether loved back or not.
Jernail S Aanand sarcasm conveys his contempt for the “i”
Mine is the positivism: “i can win”
The phenomenology of the three temporal dimensions: the so called ‘elements of time’, past present future… which i refer to as… gone moments, the instantaneous infinite now, and the wanting to, are infinitely affecting our being; our soul body spirit, where there’s no specific dimension, this elements of time is within us to influence our choices… choices that create our existential being.
I praise God for having created us, human beings, without let-up of what we need… to become as perfect, holy, and righteous as Him… and even if, one has done the gravest sins during his life time here on earth, at the valley of his death, God appears as a person right in front of him… and as a dying person _i beg i cry i repent i ask forgiveness and eventually surrender, i know because i personally experience death in 1975… i begged i asked for extension, He gave me, and i am still alive… a much changed person and extensively blessed.
ade caparas manilah
sunday 4:35pm 01 april 2018
sydney nsw australia