“Ahhhhhhhhh… LOVERS, accept it,
LOVE comes and go, enjoy it while it lasts”
What is LOVE? why is LOVE? __when where how who which is love… questions asked, whether in sweeping stage of it or in delirious devastation of it __everyone, one way or the other, will get into the cocoon of it. But whatever however scenery that may results from it, it is better to have loved… have enjoyed and suffered, than not to have loved at all! Ahhhhhhhhh… LOVERS, accept it, LOVE comes and go, enjoy it while it lasts.
“my coral coloured skin, He’ll kiss”
rainy days flood my shore
trees are bare
bins all bins decor my garden
flies cockroaches mosquitos nuggets termites
stain my life
ahhhh, how long how long
till i shove them gone!
it’s good to have this blowsy lingers
i learn how much
the me i am
soiled juxtapose fresh
coarse sits next to smooth
charged by evils correct my life!
not far away clouds clear
trace of blue sky looms… birds fly
soon, i shall be dancing Mathilda
my lover my lover the wind of summer
shall crown me gold
my coral-coloured skin… He’ll kiss
LOVE is exactly like our physical body, our HEART
At the start, the amorous subjects dance whirling in their beats of good rhythms, the space and time seem like spring awaiting the summer, but the passing impulses and careless whimpers slowly creep… crawling in between sunrises and sunsets__the relationships of good diets, exercises of emotional spiritual financial social mental upliftments, these elements of love which are in total necessity, are overlooked; thereby patience understanding determination perseverance, commence… hence VOILÀ… a severe heart convulsions… KAPUT__a BOKEN HEART!
“ a space of repugnance… “
it is a cold sunday morning; i woke up so late and my bed being surrounded by mirrors all over, sides and ceiling… i felt nauseated, to see my waking portrait ! – a sense of repugnance engulfs me, this insignificant moment of nothing. _ahhhhhhhhh… i abhor this grandeur setting, feeding my narcissistic whims: a glutton on my own bareness of ugliness.
all of a sudden, i am pricked with longings… the duet-songs of the Mayas, the alternate croaks of wild giant frogs, the humming wind carrying the playful sways of bamboo trees, yessssss, my mountain house that overlooks the grand Laguna Lake.
laughter wealth power fame… i get so drunk… the dizzying merry-go-round, suddenly the northern winds changed course; total black clouds loom; my laughter transform to tears; and i limp to face the frightening darkness!’
i see no more
fears and tears
have taken over
every single step
i make is a stumble!
can’t do nothing
my breath seems lost
slowly a tiny dot
of light expanded
discover your beauty!
my teary blurry eyes
sense back the gentle breeze
herbs and flowers hummingbirds
the taste of joy… i found your lips!
how in the world
did i lose my mind
busied moi with useless noises
bundles of loud colours
oh… abhorring abyss, i surface!
Dark Clouds Dark Clouds!!!
What is LOVE__fondness tenderness warmth, deep affection or sexual of someone, there are thousands of definition, yet love is comparable to the weather; it comes hot cold, dry wet, sunlight cloudy, gentle violent… why how where when have i failed? __an amorous left for holidays without me, a union walk-out? an airline strike? i feel terrorized raped of my innocence, my anxieties have turned me in dizzying torpedo. Ahhhhhhhhh… i want my little child in me now… i want to zoom inside those Dark Clouds Dark Clouds!
“The Little Child In Me!”
at the height of my rock-ruined moment
i get back to the little child in me
on my knees, i cry i cry… CRY!
dumb silence of total darkness
makes me deaf
intolerable absence of movements
crash my brain
engulf me within the Dark Clouds Dark Clouds.
where are you STARS…
the sky is blank without brilLiance
have you turned human
insensitive cruel… in disregard of my existence?
what about you… MOON…
laziness had plagued you too?
i, caught in the rain, shivering in the damp coldness
why am i here, who brought me here
ahhhh… the child in me Cries.
“in my silence, in my little corner, i sit i wait for you my LORD”
He is the spirit of bliss… not just joy happiness pleasure… i can speak of joy of happiness of pleasure, but bliss is unspeakable, something only felt in extreme intensity!
as a poetess, i am in access of thousand words imaging my joy… ”a train derailed into a ravine of flashing mud, but our lips still entwined… a moment where i shoot up on the hemisphere of sparkling gold, a phrase imaging my sublime happiness__a surging savaging waves rolled me body and soul into an oblivion of intoxication… “ would describe my sensual pleasure
my God, the God in me, is beyond text…
i can only feel it, seized within my heart…
you may feel it, they may feel it…
but to speak of it is a dialectic paradoxa!
just like in making love, all romantic lewd vulgar words are spoken while in drunken sensual moments but at that particular split-seconds of falling killing dying… there’s just the groans moans howls!
God is felt,
a pulsating lived vein that makes me alive…
an assurance, my safety net, my everything my all
this faith of mine is God!
those who are thrilled by religion… are but in state of joy happiness pleasure… pleasure in violence, like killings; in lusts like rapes incests paedophile; in greed for power wealth fame… all temporary… all ends __while the God in me is omniscient omnipresent immortal… God is peace!
you are the white lilies
on the meadows
calming my soul…
the misty foam-kisses
touching my skin
keeping my lips moist
the shaded foliages
giving me comfort
ahhhh… my God!
prose & poetry by: _ade c.aparas manilah
wednesday 1:47pm 18 april 2018
sydney nsw australia