#18 2018 blog “Ahhhhhhhhh… LOVERS, accept it, LOVE comes and go, enjoy it while it lasts”

“Ahhhhhhhhh… LOVERS, accept it,

LOVE comes and go, enjoy it while it lasts”

i reflect…….

hd ade reflection

 

What is LOVE? why is LOVE? __when where how who which is love… questions asked, whether  in sweeping stage of it or in delirious devastation of it __everyone, one way or the other, will get into the cocoon of it. But whatever however scenery   that may results from it, it is better to have loved… have enjoyed and  suffered, than not to have loved at all! Ahhhhhhhhh… LOVERS, accept it, LOVE comes and go, enjoy it while it lasts.

“my coral coloured skin, He’ll kiss”

rainy days flood my shore

trees are bare

bins all bins decor my garden

flies cockroaches mosquitos nuggets termites

stain my life

ahhhh, how long how long 

till i shove them gone!

yet

it’s good to have this blowsy lingers

i learn how much 

i love 

the me i am 

soiled juxtapose fresh

coarse sits next to smooth

charged by evils correct my life!

however

not far away clouds clear

trace of blue sky looms… birds fly

soon, i shall be dancing Mathilda

my lover my lover the wind of summer

shall crown me gold

my coral-coloured skin… He’ll kiss

ahhhhhhhhh

LOVE is exactly like our physical body, our HEART

HD ade -2

 At the start, the amorous subjects dance whirling in their beats of good rhythms, the space and time seem like spring awaiting the summer, but the passing impulses and careless whimpers slowly creep… crawling in between sunrises and sunsets__the relationships of good diets, exercises of emotional spiritual financial social mental upliftments, these elements of love which are in total necessity, are overlooked; thereby patience understanding determination perseverance,  commence… hence VOILÀ… a severe heart convulsions… KAPUT__a BOKEN HEART! 

“ a space of repugnance… “

it is a cold sunday morning; i woke up so late and my bed being surrounded by mirrors all over, sides and ceiling… i felt nauseated, to see  my waking portrait ! – a sense of repugnance engulfs me, this  insignificant moment of nothing. _ahhhhhhhhh… i abhor this grandeur setting, feeding my narcissistic whims: a glutton on my own bareness of ugliness. 

all of a sudden, i am pricked with longings… the duet-songs of the Mayas, the alternate croaks of wild giant frogs, the humming wind carrying the playful sways of bamboo trees, yessssss, my mountain house that overlooks the grand Laguna Lake.

laughter wealth power fame… i get so drunk… the dizzying   merry-go-round, suddenly the northern winds changed course; total black clouds loom; my laughter transform to tears;  and i limp to face the frightening darkness!’

i see no more

fears and tears 

have taken over

every single step

i make is a stumble!                        

can’t do nothing                              

my breath seems lost                     

                                    

slowly a tiny dot

of light expanded

discover your beauty! 

my teary blurry eyes

sense back the gentle breeze

herbs and flowers hummingbirds

the taste of joy… i found your lips!

my lov

how in the world

did i lose my mind

busied moi with useless noises

bundles of loud colours

cheap perfumes

oh… abhorring abyss, i surface!

Dark Clouds Dark Clouds!!! 

hd ade

What is LOVE__fondness tenderness warmth, deep affection or sexual of someone, there are thousands of definition, yet love is comparable to the weather; it comes hot cold, dry wet, sunlight cloudy, gentle violent…  why how where when have i failed? __an amorous left for holidays without me, a union walk-out? an airline strike? i feel terrorized raped of my innocence, my anxieties have turned me in dizzying torpedo. Ahhhhhhhhh… i want my little child in me now… i want to zoom inside those Dark Clouds Dark Clouds!

“The Little Child In Me!”

sometimes 

at the height of my rock-ruined moment

i get back to the little child in me 

on my knees, i cry i cry… CRY!

dumb silence of total darkness

makes me deaf

intolerable absence of movements

crash my brain

engulf me within the Dark Clouds Dark Clouds.

where are you STARS… 

the sky is blank without brilLiance 

have you turned human

insensitive cruel… in disregard of my existence?

what about you… MOON… 

laziness had plagued you too?

i, caught in the rain, shivering in the damp coldness

why am i here, who brought me here

ahhhh… the child in me Cries.

 

 

“in my silence, in my little corner, i sit i wait for you my LORD”

ade daisy

He is the spirit of bliss…  not just joy happiness pleasure…  i can speak of joy of happiness of pleasure, but bliss is unspeakable, something only felt in extreme intensity! 

as a poetess, i am in access of thousand words imaging my joy…   ”a train derailed into a ravine of flashing mud, but our lips still entwined… a moment where i shoot up on the hemisphere of sparkling gold, a phrase imaging my sublime happiness__a surging savaging waves rolled me body and soul into an oblivion of intoxication… “     would describe my sensual pleasure

my God, the God in me, is beyond text…

i can only feel it, seized within my heart…

you may feel it, they may feel it…

but to speak of it is a dialectic paradoxa!

just like in making love, all romantic lewd vulgar words are spoken while in drunken sensual moments but at that particular split-seconds of falling killing dying… there’s just the groans moans howls!

God is felt,

a pulsating lived vein that makes me alive…

an assurance, my safety net, my everything my all

this faith of mine is God!

those who are thrilled by religion… are but in state of joy happiness pleasure…  pleasure in violence, like killings; in lusts like rapes incests paedophile; in greed for power wealth fame… all temporary…  all ends __while the God in me is omniscient omnipresent immortal… God is peace!

you are the white lilies

on the meadows

calming my soul…

the misty foam-kisses

touching my skin

keeping my lips moist

the shaded foliages

giving me comfort

ahhhh… my God!

prose & poetry by: _ade c.aparas manilah

wednesday 1:47pm 18 april 2018

sydney nsw australia

 

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