“ Is Heaven and Hell a Place, a Consciousness, a Fallacy?”
Where is Heaven… where is Hell… is it a space, a consciousness, a fallacy? Heaven is joy, not a space or a place, it is a consciousness of the in-itself while Hell is suffering, kind of physical and emotional pain that produce self-pity, anger, tears… a consciousness of the for-itself. Our ordinary concept of heaven is a beautiful place where there is only music and brilliance of gems, where peace and love abound… imaging joy: while our concept of hell is boiling fire, pain, howling cries imaging suffering.
Recently, my youngest son, Dave, who just turned 30 age, had a very bad car accident; while driving his car, it was crashed at the rear… so terribly strong, his car and him were push under a big truck, his car front fully smashed, a total wreck but Dave was completely unharmed, not even a skin scratch… my son was shocked but also full of joy because he wasn’t physically affected and his damaged car will be fully replaced by a brand new one. How do we explain this? All i can say is it is Heaven. __the other car driver who hits him is in big trouble, a police case, and the damages he would face, if he does not have car insurance__ he is in a kind of Hell! Definitely being in Heaven is being in joy, a consciousness of emotions and being in Hell, is suffering, a consciousness of physical pain and mental torture.
When my world is in darkness, my mirror shows nothing but ugly bee mounts of dried tears… deforming my face, sagging it, forming wrinkles, ahhh… i shout in anger… self-pity overwhelms me.
are the broad shoulders?
the rhythmic shadow
waltzing me to Bali Hai
ohhhh… am i a consenting idiot
my dried tears, my pain… my eyes blind me
i am in hell.”
I start to lose tract of my given intelligence, the intellect which is supposed to place me above all living beings here on earth… i start to blame God, even curse Him. __i forget that i am created to HIS image, that my body is His temple, wherein He is in me… but, if God is in me, then from birth i should know in my heart, what is evil and good… so why do i do wrong?
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Corinthian 6:19-20
In the mids of hell, i call on God, blame Him, beg on to Him, curse Him, disbelieve Him, praise Him, ahhhh… i am in Hell!
i brood moi to a corner,
flooding wetting my pillows,
shouting yet my voice wouldn’t come out,
i am caged
a prisoner of my own stupidities…
i am pulled by a violent wind,
my limbs my whole body my mind in asphyxia__
i see the image of destruction
yet, hopelessly immobile…. Hell?
Although i believe no-one wants to do wrong, a man would snatch someone’s bag thinking it could solve his needs for money to buy medicine for his sick child or perhaps could fill the hunger of his family… a case of good motive but the wrong means. One has to understand, that while God is a loving caring understanding forgiving God … the world is created for us complete with all the given amenities, but we must find discover those… study plan work innovate what the problem; and with the right choices, using our wisdom body-strength compassion, it would work out.
but i project myself
a lazy do-nothing mendicant
waiting for the falling rain, listen to it fall…
building my muscles for nothing
creating moi a beautiful body
leeching, bold sucking
i glutton for things that melt my sanity
my garden, once a landscape of freshness…
now a photograph.
i desire lovers whose gazes are nowhere
my indefensible despair for lovers
begging for some showers
to come my way;
sprinkle freshness on my pigmented complexion
kiss may wrinkled my dead skin.
my jellyfish mind
a brainless purple-tinted hair dolly,
une poupée naïve;
who knows ne rien
except to tint my hair perfectly?
We therefore, not only create our Destiny, we create too, our own Heaven and feel joy… our own Hell and suffer, right here on Earth. Being right, doing right, thinking right is actually planted in our heart from birth, it is our wrong choices that put us astray.
we will have
many many more summers
drips leaks dashes
from the pouring rains
still nothing but draughts
ahhhh… cheating rain
your virtuoso rhyme builds lecherous impulse…
my flesh quivers convulses
human kills itself!
ade caparas manilah
saturday 3:21pm 02 june 2018
sydney nsw australia